judging a man by his book covers

First of all, I totally got permission to do this, so don’t worry about Chris’ feelings. He’s fine.

Here’s the thing: Chris and I are readers—fiction, non-fiction, science-fiction, instructional, entertaining, informative, provocative—you hand it to us, we’ll read it. We have piles of books in every room and, much to the amusement of visitors, a main bookcase organized first by genre, then, when possible, by color:

both practical AND aesthetically pleasing

both practical AND aesthetically pleasing

You’ll notice the bottom shelf is not arranged with the same care and attention as the others. These are the books that fall into Chris’ Books, Group B. Chris’ Books, Group A are books he brings home that I can totally get into, read, and discuss. Group B books are as follows: graphic novels, science fiction, and step-by-steps of whatever physical quest Chris is into. I began looking through the last of this list recently, after Chris showed me a paragraph in his latest Amazon purchase: The 7 Secrets of Skiing, by one Mr. Chalky White. While I have no doubt that Chalky can ski circles around my ass, an expert carver does not a writer make:

You then managed to consistently fore and aft balance that ROCK. As a result, it then became largely instrumental in your consistent ability to, constantly, get the full length of your skis pressed onto the snow thus, increasing your ability to cause a ski to grip the snow… You did that, knowing only two ‘Secrets’—imagine where you’ll be after seven?

But I’m not picking on Chalky White alone. Here’s my list of Top 5 in Chris’ Collection of Revolutionary Secrets:

  1. Enter the Kettlebell! Strength Secret of The Soviet Supermen
  2. Chi Running: A Revolutionary Approach To Effortless, Injury-Free Running
  3. Convict Conditioning: How to Bust Free of All Weakness—Using the Lost Secrets of Supreme Survival Strength
  4. Total Immersion: The Revolutionary Way to Swim Better, Faster, and Easier

and, my personal favorite, based on the cover alone:

5. The Complete Juggler: All the Steps from Beginner to Professional.

He owned this before we met and I married him anyway.

He owned this before we met and I married him anyway.

How do I incorporate these into our collection? Thoughts? Titles we’re missing? Leave suggestions below.


7 thoughts on “judging a man by his book covers

  1. Bahahaha! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. That Chalky White thing seems as though it cannot possibly be real life, but I don’t think you made it up. Wonderful, I say a fourth time!

  2. I think most of us have those 3 to 5 stray books that really do not have a place, but you make it work – bottom shelf it or throw it randomly into the mix. You could go the fun route and display the juggling book and place some balls around it – just saying:) Happy Thursday!

  3. Those all sound riveting! Have you asked him if he can ski and juggle at the same time?

    The worst book I ever had to read was “an accounting novel” (can’t remember the full name) written by one of my college professors. He made us read it and it was not good.

  4. Ah, Chris, I knew there was a reason I liked you so well. My mom has three of these specific titles, and I’m sure she has a comparable juggling book. I suspect her whole collection is even more extensive than yours, but she’s got several decades on you, so you’ll be able to catch up.

  5. End of Days Training by Simon DeRuyscher
    A must-have! Quick read, practical, entertaining, and an awesome cover to add to your collection.

    A teaser…

    How confident are you with your current physical abilities?
    Could you outrun a brain-craving zombie horde?
    Could you out-muscle a cannibalistic biker gang roaming vast wastelands, looking for victims? Do you have the endurance to scavenge for supplies when all the stores are looted and empty? What if your life depended on the fitness levels needed for these scenarios?

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