some thoughts for the new year

  1. When someone’s been flamingoed, do they really need a sign that says, “You’ve been flamingoed!” ?

  2. Is spreading vegenaise on my ham-and-cheese sandwich what they mean when they say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”?
  3. The older my kids get, the more I like them. Babies are overrated.
  4. If your God is genuinely concerned with how many “likes” he has on Facebook, it may be time to explore other religions.
  5. For job-security purposes, it may not be in my therapist’s best interest to straighten me out.
  6. Is there an amendment in the constitution that protects my rights from other amendments?
  7. Is it possible to just give money directly to cancer research and admit that you enjoy shaving your facial hair into ridiculous styles for no reason?

  8. Are my aversions to the words “panties,” “membranes,” and “woman,” all connected to 6th grade health class?
  9. People who take pride in their jobs, no matter what the work, are so good to be around.
  10. Being a grown-up is actually pretty fun.

Feel free to leave your own in the comments…


4 thoughts on “some thoughts for the new year

  1. 1. Why are Uggs popular?
    2. That woman down the hall from me is the coolest and most attractive person I know.
    3. I’m not a good person, but I want to be.
    4. I hope my god laughs at facebook users who make chain posts in his name.
    5. Is the best therapist a poor therapist?
    6. Do my coworkers like me or is this part of “networking”?
    7. Facial hair is a part of manhood and something to be celebrated. It’s best not to oppose, but sculpt instead.
    8. I call my underwear, my dainties.
    9. Success, like happiness, is not pursued, but ensued. (not sure if quoted, but from viktor frankl)
    10. I’m loneliest in a crowd of people.

  2. Stumbled across y’all’s blog… I’m in love!
    1. If your New Year’s resolution is to not have any resolutions and the convention is to break New Year’s resolutions… does that mean you have to have some?
    2. It’s the mark of a mom when you get excited about the new cartoon episodes.
    3. Is it a problem that I have an equal obsession with new, blank paper, and writing on it with a new pen. It’s like a love hate relationship. I want to keep the paper clean, but I really want to use that new pen, too. I always cave into the pen.
    4. How many looked at my first sentence and said “She must be from the south” because I said Y’all?
    5. Trying to live life without fear of myself is possibly harder than living without fear of others. I’m trying to accept me… and I’m weird.

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